A short while ago I was fortunate enough to be at the ground breaking Quintasensual Festival in Somerset, England. It was my second year attending. The first one had been life changing to the point that I was now a member of the team. Combining tantra, kink, queerness, and spirituality, Quintasensual has forged a community quite unlike anywhere else.
One of the amazing things at the festival is the House of Heaven, which is the abode of the Sacred Sluts. These beautiful souls offer erotic services to anyone at the festival, creating a safe space in which secret (or not-so-secret) desires can be explored, and where it is always encouraged to ask for what you want. This year, I was one of these sluts.
It was an absolutely beautiful experience. As a sex worker I am not used to being honoured for the work I do. I know my work is sacred, beautiful and healing, but it is rare to hear others say that. Not so at Quintasensual. Not an hour would go by without someone telling me how much they appreciated my work, me, my generosity. How empowering my presence at the festival was for them, even if they did not ask for a session.
So I did indeed felt quite sacred, and quite slutty too. Having the role of the Sacred Slut allowed me to be a sacred slut. This made me think about sacredness, about sluttiness, and about capitalised words. It was not the festival that made my slutting Sacred, it already was. The title merely emphasised my role as a facilitator of sacred sluttiness.
Because all sluts are sacred.
Everyone who takes the courage to look deep within themselves to discover their desires, and then finds a way to safely and consensually explore those desires is doing something sacred. In a society that only encourages very particular kinds of pleasure, exploring those things that truly bring us joy is a sacred and revolutionary act.
Whether you desire pleasuring yourself, spanking your boyfriend, having sex with someone you have just met, or not having sex at all: making your own conscious decisions about your sexuality is at the core of sluthood.
It is not about sleeping with as many people as you can (well, not necessarily…), it is about making your own conscious choice about who you share what kind of pleasure with. And also who not to share it with, and what acts not to engage in. It is about taking back control over our sexuality. Honouring ourselves, our desires, and our boundaries, in spite of what society tells us should or should not be pleasurable, is what being a sacred slut is all about.
Coincidentally, this is also what Quintasensual is all about. It creates safe spaces in which people can explore their desires, their sluttiness, and their boundaries. The Sacred Sluts are one way in which the festival helps participants to do that. Just calling ‘sluts’ ‘sacred’ is already quite powerful. Having people at the festival offering their sexual services and treating them as sacred even more so. It encourages people to look at their desires consciously and find a way to explore them with others. Having Sacred Sluts encourages more sacred slutting.
We need more sluts in this world. More people who dare to speak and explore their desires. More people who say ‘yes’ and ‘no’ according to their will. More people who honour the ‘yes’ and ‘no’ offered to each other. More people who take a breathe, and in spite of societal norms live their truth. More beautifully empowered sacred sluts.
If you feel called to explore your inner slut, and want to do that in a safe and held space: do not hestitate to get in touch : )